


Timeloop

by Automobiles



Series: Oakmont [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Abuse (Implied), Implied/Referenced Suicide, LGBT Characters (Implied), Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-30 02:02:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12643890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Automobiles/pseuds/Automobiles
Summary: When a no-name loner at Oakmont High commits suicide, popular guitarist Lexi Channing is stuck like a hamster on a wheel until she uncovers his mystery.





	1. Alpha, Beta, Theta, Zero

SL, but got by with Mary just fine. After all, she could hear. 

Lexi bit her lip, and hesitated before speaking. “Just… Don’t lecture me.”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You can’t just hide from us forever.” 

Lexi nodded her head and looked away. She wasn’t much a talkative person. 

Mary tapped her shoulder to get her attention. “Let’s go?” 

Lexi nodded again and pulled out the keys to her car. It was a slightly busted 1982 Yellow Datsun, with a few scratches on the back bumper but in generally good condition. The two girls climbed in, and Lexi started the car. 

They drove home in silence. This was to be expected from the two--Mary being mute, and Lexi simply being quiet. She pulled up to Mary’s house--only two blocks from her own house--to find music being blasted from the inside, which was presumably littered with Plastiques. 

Mary huffed. Lexi knew that this got on Mary’s nerves the most, so she didn’t say anything. Mary turned back to her. 

“She’s so annoying. I guess I’ll see you around, Channing.” 

Lexi nodded, and half smiled as a goodbye, and Mary climbed out of Lexi’s car. She was careful with the car door, but Lexi watched as she walked into her house and slammed the door behind her. 

The sound of talking above the music was halted, and Lexi couldn’t help but snicker. The Plastiques had really been giving them grief lately, ever since their band decided to quit playing for them at their parties. 

Lexi’s amusement turned solemn. As she started driving again, she couldn’t help but feel guilty. After all, it kind of was her fault the band was on a hiatus. They had just recorded a bunch of CDs, too…   
Before she knew it, she had arrived at her house. Lexi sighed and parked her car, heading inside. She knew no one would be home, so she went up to her bedroom and threw her bag on her bed.

Her curtains were open, which means her mom had been in her room. She stared out her window, at the window across from hers, at the house next door, but it was empty. She quickly shut her curtains, darkening the room abruptly. 

She gently kicked her door shut and turned to her bed, wanting nothing but to lie down and forget everything. However, she caught sight of her messenger bag filled with her books and was painfully reminded of her homework. 

Begrudgingly, Lexi sat down to do her work. She didn’t have much to do, just U.S. History and Calculus, so she finished quickly and flopped on her bed, shoes, jacket and all, to take a nap. 

Her eyes felt like weights, but snapped open at the sound of her phone notifying her of a new message. Lexi rolled over and unlocked her phone.

Unknown, 3:35 P.M.   
[ You’ll figure it out sometime. ]

Lexi was baffled. Who is this? She didn’t have a clue what the mysterious person meant, but she was intrigued. 

She opened the message to reply, but it seemed the message had disappeared. 

This simply baffled her more. Thinking it just some kind of glitch, she let herself roll into the world of dreams.

Lexi was startled awake by the sound of her alarm. Morning already? She sat up and rubbed her eyes. 

Looking over, she noticed the TV blaring. She didn’t remember turning it on—upon further inspection, she saw that it was playing The Silence of the Lambs. 

That’s weird, Lexi thought, Maybe I turned it on in my sleep? Fumbling for the remote, she quickly shut it off.

She was wearing the same clothes as she was yesterday, so Lexi assumed she had just fallen asleep in them and figured they were clean enough to wear. She grabbed her keys and bookbag, then ran downstairs.

Checking the clock on the wall, the time was 7:53. Lexi silently cursed herself. If she didn’t haul ass now, she’d be late for sure. Thankfully, her mom wasn’t up yet, so she ran out the door and practically scrambled into her Datsun. 

Looking in the rearview mirror, Lexi realised how awful she looked. Her blonde hair had a matte in the back, there was crust in her green eyes, and even her hoodie looked disheveled. 

Lexi paused for a moment to run some fingers through her hair and tie a small portion of it into a small ponytail as per her usual style. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she took a deep breath and started her car.

Her mind tended to wander when she drove. Lexi couldn’t stop thinking about her band, and it gave her a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Pulling into a parking space, she was almost too lost in her own head to notice the person walking right in front of her. She hit the brakes in time, but the person looked scared half to death. 

The boy in front of her was around six foot tall, and Korean, with messy blonde hair like a lion’s mane. Lexi recognized him as the foreign exchange student, Jiyeong.

She quickly rolled down her window. “I’m really sorry! I, um, didn’t see you—” 

Jiyeong cut her off with apologies of his own, shaking his hands in front of him. “I wasn’t paying attention, it’s fine!” 

Lexi nodded, getting a feeling of deja vu as he scampered off and the car behind her blared its horn. She quickly pulled into the parking space and got out of her car.

Entering the school, Lexi couldn’t shake the feeling. Looking around, she saw all the same things, jocks play fighting, nerds studying, Plastiques gossiping in their usual circle.

As Lexi drew nearer, she felt the Plastiques’ eyes on her. Ouch. Even without hearing them, she knew they were talking about her. One of them, Colleen, whispered to her friend and giggled. Lexi got the feeling she knew what was coming, and successfully stepped over the girl’s outstretched foot.

Tripping? How juvenile, Lexi thought, but she felt extremely strange. How did she know that would happen? She shook her head and headed for her locker. 

Her phone buzzed with a text. 

Brett, 8:02 A.M.  
[ We need to talk ]

Lexi frowned at the text, but as she was going to close her phone, she noticed the time and date. 

8:02 A.M., Tuesday, June 15th

She couldn’t help but stare wide-eyed at her screen. Yesterday was Tuesday, but today is Tuesday too? Did I hallucinate all of yesterday? 

She was looking around to see if there was anyone she could ask the date when she noticed the empty spot to her left. Jonah wasn’t here.

Lexi shook her head to try and rid herself of… whatever it was she was feeling. She decided she just needed to go to class, and closed her locker to go to math.

When she got to her math class, she sat down at her regular seat next to Christopher Smith, a senior.

She didn’t know much about him, just that he was a football player. There were many seniors in Lexi’s calculus class.

Lexi was weary of football players, and tended to avoid their crowd on the whole, but she needed to know what was going on. 

She turned to him and asked, “Excuse me, um, what day is it?” 

Christopher smiled politely. “It’s Tuesday,” he said, but Lexi was unnerved.

“Thanks.” She quickly looked back at her paper. This was, in fact, the homework she had been assigned ‘yesterday’. 

The bell rang, and the teacher began talking, but Lexi wasn’t paying attention.

Her mind began to wander. Why is it Tuesday? What happened to yesterday? Did I just dream it all happened? Am I hallucinating? Lexi couldn’t shake these thoughts even as the bell rang for the class period to be over. 

She sat in a daze throughout the rest of her classes and throughout lunch, where she ate by herself. 

Looking around the cafeteria, she just saw what she normally would—teens eating. She glanced at a table near the door, completely barren of people.

Then, for half a moment, she saw a glimpse of someone sitting there—but they went as quickly as they came. 

Lexi didn’t get a chance to see who it was, but it didn’t matter to her. My brain is so messed up today. She decided she’d try to do something about it, but didn’t know what.

Recently, her band, Bovine Vanity, had been put on a hiatus. They used to play for the parties Plastiques throw, but Ashton Kennedy, her best friend, and the lead singer and guitarist, had refused to play for them.

Lexi knew why he didn’t want to play for them. They constantly talked bad about her, which Ashton didn’t like. That Lexi didn’t understand—why he quit the band just because they were being mean to her. 

She knew he was mad at her, but Lexi could never figure out why. She didn’t find it important that they picked on her, and certainly didn’t find herself worth the effort that Ashton was making to boycott their only means of payment because of it. 

Everyone was at a standstill with each other. No matter how bad Lexi wanted to talk to Ashton right now, even though he wouldn’t turn her away, she just couldn’t. That would mean admitting defeat, and Lexi would not surrender.

She was still on good terms with Mary, though, who had ‘frankly had enough of this stupid bullshit, you’re my friends’ and still talked to all of them. Lexi knew deep down Mary was heartbroken because of the band’s hiatus—which just made her feel even worse.

She was snapped out of her reverie by the bell ringing for their next period. Her next class was U.S. History, so she went to her locker to get her book.

From her locker, she turned around to see Daniel and Sarah looking distraught, just like yesterday. That familiar feeling of deja vu stirred up in her stomach again. Is time repeating itself? She only knew one way to prove it—if she got the same texts at the exact same time.

Sure enough, two messages came in. 

Mother, 2:37 P.M.  
[ Won’t be home tonight. Lots of work. Love you ]

Mary, 2:38 P.M.  
[ We need to work this stupid shit out. You can’t just hide from him forever. ]

Lexi’s blood went cold as panic rose in her chest. She didn’t understand what was happening—and she didn’t reply to either message, simply going to class.

 

She took her seat nervously. The whole time, she couldn’t help but glance at the back of Ashton’s head. It would be so easy to just send him a message…

The teacher’s voice snapped her to attention. “Open up your books to page 394. We’re studying early American international conflicts today,” drawled the teacher. 

If this is really a repeat of yesterday, then the teacher will ask me a question… 

“Lexi, can you tell me the answer to the question on the board?”

Lexi paused for a moment. Surely she’d remember it, considering it had happened before… 

The question on the board was the same as yesterday—What is the name of the U.S. doctrine that disallowed Western Hemisphere colonization by European nations?

Lexi racked her brain. What was it that Colleen said? 

“Um, the Madison Doctrine,” she finally spluttered out.

Just like yesterday when she got the answer wrong, half the class chuckled. 

The teacher wasn’t amused. “Can anyone else tell me?” 

Colleen raised her hand. “The Monroe Doctrine.” She looked back at Lexi with that same poisonous glare and whispered, “Looks like you’re really as dumb as people say you are.”

The words hurt a little bit, but nothing hurt more than Ashton turning around and giving her a look of total disappointment. Lexi felt herself shrink at his eye contact and look away. You don’t need to rub it in, Colleen, thought Lexi.

The period seemed to go on for hours until the bell finally rang. Going to her locker, she noticed that all the books she had brought home yesterday were still there. Time really is repeating itself. 

Daniel Thompson, again in tears, came up to Jonah’s locker to try and open it. While he was fumbling with the lock, Lexi mustered up the courage to ask, “Um, where is he?”

Daniel’s head snapped up. “What?”

“Y-You know, um, that boy. Jonah, I mean,” Lexi stuttered. She was never amazing with unfamiliar conversation.

Daniel looked bitter. “He’s not here.”

“Well, um… yeah. Where did he go?” Lexi thought it was obvious that he wasn’t at school today. Her phone chimed with a message, but she didn’t check it.

Daniel quickly wiped his eye. “He… he died.” 

Lexi was both horrified and baffled. So Jonah’s really dead… But how?

Daniel spoke up before Lexi could open her mouth. “You’re Lexi Channing, right? From Bovine Vanity? I didn’t know you were friends with Jonah.”

She guessed that Daniel was a fan, and just nodded. They were popular within the school’s social circles. “I wasn’t… I-It’s just, you see someone every day, you wonder where they go…” She trailed off, but Daniel nodded.

“I gotta go meet my friend. See you around.” 

Lexi gave a pathetic half wave before checking her phone for that message. As expected, it was from Mary.

Mary, 3:01 P.M.  
[ Kaia left me stranded again.]

Lexi didn’t text anything back, simply headed for where she thought she remembered Mary to be. 

As Lexi approached the flagpole, Mary looked genuinely surprised. ‘How’d you know I’d be here?’ 

“Um… intuition, I guess,” Lexi’s voice cracked and Mary breathed out of her nose in a laughing manner. 

“Whatever. You’re a weirdo, Channing. Let’s get going.” Mary seemed to have forgotten whatever mini-speech she had planned for Lexi, much to her relief. 

The two walked towards the car. 

Lexi shook her head to get rid of whatever she was feeling. She didn’t know why time was repeating itself--but the mystery was a tad exciting.

When they both climbed in, Lexi turned to Mary before turning the car on. “Just so you know, your sister is having, um, a party at your house.”

Mary frowned. “How do you know that?”

“Well, uh… I heard Colleen talking about it in history class,” Lexi lied quickly. Mary seemed to buy it. 

“She’s so annoying. Thanks for the heads up.” Mary smiled a little as thanks, and Lexi put the key in the car and started the ignition.

They had another silent ride, which Lexi was fine with, and lost herself in her thoughts. She wondered if she was supposed to learn something from all this, but wasn’t sure what it could be. 

She was snapped out of her mystified mind when they arrived at Mary’s house. Lexi offered a small smile to Mary as an apology, but she shook her head.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” Lexi nodded. 

Mary climbed out and waved good-bye, then shut the door gently. Lexi watched as she walked around the house and went in through the back. She must be trying to sneak in undetected, Lexi noted. 

After seeing Mary round the corner, Lexi put her car into gear and drove home. As expected, her mother wasn’t home. 

Lexi put her bag down in the foyer instead of going straight to her room, and took a moment to look around her house. She felt as if she’d never paused to take it all in, like it’s always just been something she passed by. 

The house was not very large, but it was not tiny--it had a lot of open space, and allowed afternoon light to pour in through thin streams. There were hardwood floors and beige walls, with typical decor that one would expect of a suburban single mom.   
The kitchen was the first room you could see from the foyer, and it was very tidy, with granite countertops and sleek appliances--though it was hardly used. Lexi reminisces of time spent in that kitchen, cooking with her mom, eating Cheetos with Ashton, simply doing homework late at night after fixing herself a snack.

Now all Lexi did was hide in her room. She missed the times when she’d have a reason to come out of her hole, but with all that’s happened, reliving such happy memories proved too much for her. 

Her hand drifted to her phone in her pocket subconsciously. Her friends were just one call away--she could attempt at making amends at any moment. Something inside her stopped her, however, some feeling in her stomach that she could barely register as fear. 

Lexi couldn’t imagine what she’d do if her friends really did hate her forever. The thought of trying but failing to reconnect scared her. Her room felt like a safe haven from that. It was dark, and she was alone, where she didn’t have to deal with anything and could just watch a movie or read a book until the night was over and she had to leave. 

She shook herself out of her reverie and headed upstairs. Her curtains were open, just like before. Lexi stared out of her window, though the house opposite was still empty. She decided to open the window to let the warm summer air in. 

The breeze was friendly to her face, but the light was harsh on her eyes. Lexi quickly shut the window again and shut her curtains.


	2. Zero, One, Two, Three, Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all like it! Comments are appreciated!

The ‘next morning’, Lexi woke up before her alarm, to yet again Silence of the Lambs blaring on her TV. She quickly shut it off, and started to contemplate what she would do.

Clearly, to her, this had some connection to Jonah. A boy mysteriously dies, then time starts to repeat itself? Lexi had seen too many movies.

She wondered what it was she needed to figure out about Jonah. How he died? The circumstances of his death? 

Lexi decided that she would work up the nerve to talk to people who knew him, and gather information. The thought of human interaction made her stomach turn, but it was something that had to be done.

She didn’t bother gathering her backpack, only making herself look normal and put together before heading to school early. She was able to find a parking spot quickly and without incident, as the lot was practically empty so early in the morning. 

Before heading in, Lexi realised that she didn’t know exactly who to talk to. She wasn’t friends with Jonah, and only knew of two people that knew him--Sarah and Daniel. 

Coincidentally, she spotted Sarah at her locker when she pushed open the big glass doors. Lexi took a deep breath, then approached her. 

Sarah had her usually pin-straight strawberry blonde hair in a messy bun, and was wearing sweats. Lexi only noted this because she usually dressed up a bit, and wore makeup--she wasn’t today. Sarah looked distraught.

“Hey, Sarah,” Lexi spoke timidly. Sarah looked up and half-smiled.

“Hi, Lexi. What’s up?” She spoke with a soft casualness that Lexi wouldn’t have noticed had she not already known something was wrong.

“I’m just--I know about your friend Jonah. I’m really sorry.” Lexi shifted uncomfortably. Was this conversation? It wasn’t as bad as she remembered. 

“Oh, um…” Sarah laughed pitifully. “It… Thanks. Were you guys friends?”

Lexi made up a quick lie. “Yeah, s-somehow. We’d talk sometimes.”

She nodded. “I just don’t understand why he’d do this. I mean, he was starting to open up.” 

This was valuable to Lexi--she knew that he killed himself now, so she figured it meant that if she found out why than the loop would stop. 

With renewed vigor, Lexi commented, “I saw him talking with a boy last week.” This wasn’t a lie--She remembered seeing a boy with a camera speaking with him on the way to class.

Sarah’s eyes lit up. “Really? Do you know his name.”

“No, sorry.” Sarah’s face fell, and Lexi hated to disappoint, so she added, “But I can find out. Um, if you want.”

“That would be really nice, thanks.” Sarah looked a little happier than she had before. 

Lexi persisted asking questions. “So, um… Did he, you know, say anything to you? Before he, um…?” 

Sarah scratched the back of her neck. “Um, yeah, actually… Not much, though. He said that things with his dad were getting rough.”

Lexi pondered for a moment. Jonah was always covered in bruises, but he also got in a lot of fights. Regrettably, Lexi never payed enough attention to the amount of bruises freckling the boy’s face.

“That’s--” Lexi couldn’t seem to remember how to speak English for a moment. “That’s bad. But it makes me, you know, wonder.”

“Yeah, me too.” Just then, the bell rang, and Sarah shut her locker. “Thanks, Lexi. See you around.” Lexi half waved as she walked off. 

Now, she had to find out that boy’s name before the end of the day. However, as she pondered it, wouldn’t the day just restart anyways? She didn’t know all the answers, so it would take more than this one loop… Lexi still wanted to know. 

She racked her brain for what he looked like. She remembered him having dark hair, and carrying around a camera--he must be a journalist. 

Lexi headed for the journalism room, having been there a great number of times. Oakmont had both a school paper and a school magazine, though the latter was more widely read as the Plastiques had taken it over totally. 

Colleen Samson’s father was incredibly wealthy, owning several car dealerships and a few boat dealerships as well. The Plastiques used this to their advantage, throwing elaborate parties in Colleen’s huge house, fit with expensive drugs, alcohol, and usually hired a live band to play--to Lexi’s dismay, it had usually been Bovine Vanity.

The magazine crew did not like the Plastiques, however, because they treated them like employees rather than students. Lexi knew these things because the journalism crew did like her band. They simply did not care enough to be snotty about anything, and were always courteous. Thus, she had been interviewed a good many times.

At the door, she was greeted by Dominic Hawkins, a photojournalist. He looked put together, with his usual sweater and jeans. His dark hair looked windswept, as if he had jogged to school in a hurricane. Lexi knew, though, that though he looked kind of similar, Dominic was not the boy who had been talking to Jonah. He looked surprised to see her, and she didn’t blame him.

“Hey, Lexi. Uh, what’s up?” He moved aside to let her in. Inside, the brightly-lit room was cluttered, with papers and photographs everywhere--including the walls. A copy machine was running noisily in the back, and a blonde boy next to it was playing with a handheld game device. Lexi recognized him as a friend of Dominic’s, Jimmy Mitchell.

Feeling confident in her social skills thanks to that conversation with Sarah, Lexi asked, “Do you know anyone on the journalism team that has, um, dark hair, and glasses? Always carrying around a camera?”

Dominic scratched the side of his nose. “Uh, not on the team, no. I mean, besides me. We have a photographer named Oscar who sometimes takes pictures for us, but that’s about it.” 

Lexi didn’t recognize the name. “Thanks, Dominic. Do you know where I can find him?”

He thought hard for a moment. “He’s probably in the library. That’s where I usually find him. Why?”

“Oh, I just wanted some pictures taken for, um, my science class. We have this project,” Lexi lied quickly.

Dominic seemed to buy it. “Well, cool. Hope you find him.”

Lexi nodded awkwardly. “Thanks. See you,” she said, then left to go to the library. 

She had never really been in the library. Lexi preferred to either study at home or not study at all. It was a surprisingly modern room, with small fluorescent lights lining the walls and navy bookshelves in rows. There was a computer section and a few couches and beanbags arranged in a semicircle.

Just like Dominic had said, Oscar was sitting on the couch on his laptop. Lexi timidly made her way over, nervous to simply approach someone she didn’t know.

“U-Um, excuse me…” Lexi felt all of her former confidence start to fade.

However, the boy seemed to be more nervous than she was. “Yes?” 

“You’re Oscar, right?” She remembered her purpose, and noticed how her voice didn’t waver. 

He only nodded. Lexi continued, “I, um, heard you were friends with Jonah Thompson.”

Oscar nodded again. “W-Why?” His expression read as if he were about to be scolded by a teacher. Lexi made a conscious effort to relax her body language.

“He, um, died recently.” 

Oscar looked at her in disbelief. “That’s—That’s not funny.”

Lexi gave him an apologetic look, and he covered his mouth with his hands. “I’m sorry.” There was a heavy pause.

“How did he die?” Oscar asked suddenly, causing Lexi to jump a little bit. 

“Suicide. I don’t know, um, how he did it.” Lexi felt uncomfortable, but continued. “Did he say anything to you?”

Oscar shook his head. “All he mentioned to me was that he might be late or something because he was staying at his dad’s. I can’t believe that he…” He looked ill.

Lexi thought over this information. Jonah’s death must have some connection to his father, somehow, but she couldn’t put her nose on it.

Lexi scrambled for words. “Do you have his phone number?” 

“What? Why?” Oscar looked a bit confused.

Lexi made something up. “If his mother has his phone, I just wanna call and tell her I’m sorry.”

He looked suspicious, but understood. Oscar gave her the number and Lexi thanked him.

“Um, thanks. I’ll see you around?” Oscar nodded somberly.

In reality, Lexi was going to go home and trace the number to Jonah’s address. It was a bit intrusive, but she needed more clues and Jonah was a very secretive person. 

Lexi left the library, and exited the school. She climbed into her Datsun and started it up, taking a moment to process all the information she had gathered.

Jonah had committed suicide, and though reason remained a mystery, Lexi held some semblance of a clue. Perhaps his dad was abusing him, or fighting with him. Maybe he was just too lonely, or had had his heart broken and couldn’t survive.

Lexi pulled into her driveway and parked her car. She entered her house quietly, even though she knew no one would be home. She snuck over to the family computer and got to work.

Using a service that traces cell phone numbers, she found that Jonah lived just down the street. Lexi quickly jotted down the address and left her house again, walking this time. 

Upon knocking on the door, Lexi was unsurprised to find noone home. After all, it was 9:30 A.M. on a Tuesday. Looking around, the streets were barren as well. Lexi felt around in her hair for a bobby pin, and began to work on the lock. Suddenly, I’m grateful I was a Girl Scout, Lexi mused to herself. 

The door came open with little difficulty. Lexi felt wrong for breaking into someone’s house, but she knew it probably wouldn’t matter as it would get lost in the timeloop. 

She shut the door gently, and looked around. The house was clean, and neat, with the kitchen to her right and a hallway to the left. Straight ahead was the living room, where a small flat screen TV had been left on and was blaring the news. 

The whole house looked orderly, as if it had been overly picked apart, yet homely. It was obviously well-lived in, with picture frames littering the walls. Lexi felt a homely vibe from the house.

She headed into the hallway, looking for Jonah’s room. In one door, she found a bathroom. In another, she found a linen closet. 

The first bedroom she found was cluttered, with posters everywhere and books piled on a desk. Looking on a paper left on the desk, she read the name ‘Daniel Thompson’ at the top right corner.

Realizing this is the wrong room, she put the paper back and shut the door. Lexi tried the door across from Daniel’s room, and found another bedroom.

This one was starkly different to Daniel’s. It was bare, with no mess, and extremely neat. Even the bed looked like it hadn’t been slept in for at least a week. 

Lexi began looking through the drawers. Most of them were empty, except one that held a key. She placed it on the desk while she was looking through the other side of the desk’s drawers, but found they were empty too. 

Underneath the table of the desk, there was a small drawer that slid out, but it was locked. Lexi used the key she found earlier to unlock it, feeling like the protagonist of some JRPG. 

Sliding it open, she found several unexpected items. One was a letter, which she wasn’t too shocked about, but the drawer also contained a gun and several razor blades, one of them bloody.

Lexi didn’t dare touch the gun or blades, for fear of getting fingerprints on them--but moreso for fear of the weapons themselves.   
The letter, though, she did pick up. It read as follows;

“So if you’re reading this, you must be really persistent. You, the reader, are either my mom, Daniel, or my step-dad trying to figure out some semblance of a clue why I did what I did. If you are one of those people, I’ll give you a short answer; 

Life is fucked up.

There’s nothing more to it. You’d think it was selfish, and you’re right. But I figure that I should do something for myself for a change. I won’t sugarcoat this.

I don’t expect any of you to understand. I act tough, I get into fights—hell, I even won one against Bradley Acosta—so if I told you that my dad was beating me, you’d never believe me. But if you’re reading this, it got too much to handle and too much to hide. 

If you’re looking for a short answer, you can stop now. But if you’re the other option, someone who’s not related to me and looking for some poetic explanation on life and death, carry on with your snooping. 

The desire to be noticed, to be seen, to be admired for doing or being something special is common to all of humanity. You want to make good grades, so you can impress others with your talent. You want to play an instrument well, so that your talent can make you remarkable.

Well, I’m here to say that never in your life will you do something truly remarkable. Everything has done before. The past will begin again, and you will try and try to change—but trying is pointless, because the only thing you can be is yourself.

You can’t change who you are, no matter how hard you try. All you are is all you are, and all you have been, all you will be, all you can ever be. 

All I will ever be is someone I don’t even know anymore. 

But I can change one thing—the time of my death. I’m too tired to go on like this. Everything has an end and I am demanding that this ends here. 

Looking forward to the future (in which I am dead and free),

”

Lexi mulled over the contents of the letter. She’d been through at least ten loops to get here, to finally see Jonah’s final words… Lexi didn’t know what she’d been expecting. 

She did not consider Jonah so philosophical. The letter was short, but concise, yet Lexi still didn’t know what to make of it. It was all so heavy, dripping with feelings she’d never seen Jonah express from next to her locker. 

Lexi felt dirty, as if having just read someone’s private diary. Getting in so close to Jonah’s head, trying to make sense of it all, feeling so personal—it put her in a daze that made her forget that she was still snooping around in his house. 

However, she felt as if she knew the truth-- but something was missing. She shook it off and quickly put everything in its place, scrambled out of the house and into her car parked in the back. 

Lexi was simply anxious to end the loop. It was over. Jonah Thompson had killed himself because his father had been abusing him. She had never wanted Wednesday to come so bad. 

Before she knew it, she had parked her car in front of her house and raced up the steps, entering her now pitch-black kitchen. Lexi bounded up the stairs, practically throwing her shoes off, and flung herself into bed, only craving rest and the following day to arrive.

However, her frustration knew no bounds when she woke up to that familiar blaring of Silence of the Lambs. Lexi wanted to throw the TV remote out of the window, but threw it at the wall instead. Her throw was weak, though, so it simply fell to the carpeted floor unbroken. 

Lexi decided she would probably have to talk to Jonah’s dad. This scared her--Jonah killed himself because of the man. She needed to know, though, what it was that was keeping her inside the time loop. 

First, she needed to find the address of Jonah’s father’s house. That would not be easy, and it meant rooting around in Daniel’s house again. She’d have to find an opportunity, which meant waiting around until she knew no one would be home.

Lexi figured she could put her thoughts together in the meantime, and do some research. She had Jonah’s phone number still, so perhaps she could try and figure out something from what she already had. 

She really was turning into a spy-- When she was sure her mother had left, she snuck onto the computer and began using yet another hacking service with Jonah’s cell phone number.

Lexi was beginning to care less and less about the moral dilemma of stalking and such and caring more and more about finding the answer. Once she had access to his contacts, she scrolled meticulously through the small list.

Mom  
Sarah  
Daniel  
Oscar  
William  
Father

She recognized most of the names, except for William. Lexi focused in instead on the contact ‘Father’. Luckily for her, Jonah had kept his contacts very well updated and informed. 

Lexi was able to easily find his father’s address and wrote it down. She barely checked her appearance before grabbing her keys and rushing out the door, anxious to get something from Jonah’s dad. 

She didn’t know what she expected to get. A confession of some sort, him admitting what he did was wrong, him telling her why, some kind of responsibility--she didn’t know. 

She climbed into her car and went straight to the address, only noticing the time when she’d already arrived--10:03 A.M.. Lexi shut the car door, uncaring how much noise she made, and rapped loudly on the door.

At first, no one answered. She pressed her ear to the door, and heard faint grunting and television sounds, Lexi knocked again. This time, after a few minutes, the door swung open. 

A man in his mid thirties with a deep five o’clock shadow appeared before her. He wore a dirty, halfway unbuttoned white collar shirt and boxer shorts--nothing else. His hair stuck up wildly in a manner similar to Jonah’s, Lexi noted.

He spoke with a pitifully rough voice. “Can I help you, Girl Scout?”

Lexi had to restrain the urge to roll her eyes and say I’m not a Girl Scout anymore, stupid! Instead, she said, “I’m here to ask you some questions about your son.”

“Why?” Jonah’s dad looked taken aback. “You his friend or somethin’?”

Lexi nodded. “Yeah.”

“What’s your name, kid?” He looked a tad suspicious.

“My name’s Lexi Channing.”

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Fine. Come in.” He stumbled inside, kicking aside glass bottles to clear a path to the couch. The television was blaring loudly--some cartoon Lexi didn’t know the name of.

The house was less of a mess than Lexi thought. There was trash littered about, but it was nothing a good cleaning and some Febreeze would fix. There was a dent on the wall by the lightswitch, but no other signs of damage. If it wasn’t strewn with bottles or ridden with the stench of alcohol, it would look comfortable. 

Lexi took a seat on the couch opposite from Jonah’s dad. He turned the TV off and fat across from her, closing his eyes for a moment--probably clearing a headache, Lexi thought. 

“What do you want to know about him?” 

She pondered what she should say first. Thinking as to not come off too strong, she said, “Did Jonah say anything to you before he… you know…?”

Jonah’s dad sat up, and she noticed his hands had begun fidgeting. Lexi tried not to let her face show her suspicion. “No. He didn’t. He was--He was always the silent type. Really secretive, you know.”

“So, you didn’t know about the fights?” Lexi prodded.

He looked a bit perplexed for a moment, then shook his head. “No. Yes. I mean, I knew he was gettin’ into trouble at school.”

Lexi sat up, bracing herself. “Mr. Thompson, I found a letter he wrote before he died—like a suicide note, I guess. The point is, he claimed that you beat him.” She had to restrain herself from getting too livid. “Is it true?”

Mr. Thompson’s face contorted with anger. “How dare you come into my fucking house, accuse me of—”

Lexi stood up and cut him off. “Is it true?” She was pressing harder.

“Fuck you! He was my son—”

“IS. IT. TRUE?!” Lexi couldn’t stop herself from yelling. 

There was a heavy silence. “... Yes. It’s true. Are you happy?”

Lexi shook her head. “Why? Why did you do it?”

Mr. Thompson shakily got up. “That little brat had it coming to him. He always snuck out, misbehaving, you know? You wouldn’t fuckin’ understand. Your parents never disciplined you properly, I’m sure.” He headed to the bar in the kitchen, his back to Lexi.

“It went too fucking far, and you know it.” She was seething with anger. 

He poured himself a drink. “That’s probably true. See, if I’d had my wits about me that one night…” He took a long sip.

Lexi stared at the back of his head. “What are you talking about?”

“I hit him that one time. Thought he was dead.” He laughed and took another sip. “Was so fucked up, don’t y’know, didn’t realize he was sleepin’ or somethin’.” 

He had begun slurring his words, making Lexi’s newfound impatience grow. “I thought I’d killed him. Killed him dead. Took his body out by the overpass, nearly wrecked myself, y’see.”

Lexi’s heart began to pound. What was he getting at? Jonah’s dad seemed to mostly be mumbling to himself. “Figured if he’s dead, didn’t wanna be responsible. Even if he’s barely my son, not my death. No, no, no. Took the gun. Click, click. Click, click.”

It had devolved into a bunch of jumbled drunken garbage, but Lexi understood what he meant. She felt hot tears spring in her eyes. “You killed him.” 

“Yep. Guess I did.” He turned around, realizing it was Lexi who had spoken. “Why the fuck are you still here?” Mr. Thompson’s expression soon turned angry. She moved to run out the door as he grabbed a kitchen knife. Luckily, he was intoxicated, and she safely escaped to her car and peeled out of his street, Mr.Thompson screaming after her.

Her breathing was heavy, but she didn’t know how to feel. Jonah had been murdered. Lexi was glad she had solved it, but felt something missing. Something angry inside of her wanted justice for what Jonah’s dad had done.

Lexi found herself driving to the police station. She quickly parked, only pausing for a millisecond in the rearview mirror to look at how crazy she looked. Her hair was askew, clothes disheveled and she was slightly sweaty. Lexi got out of the car anyway and slammed the door shut. 

The clerk regarded Lexi with a kind smile. However, Lexi wasn’t here for formalities. “I have a crime to report.”

“U-Um, okay,” the clerk, red-headed and in her early fifties, began clacking on the computer keyboard with nails that Lexi guessed had to have been at least two inches long. “What would you like to report?”

“Jonah Thomspon was reported to have died from suicide by a handgun, but he actually didn’t. He was murdered by his father—I just heard his confession!” Lexi was a little panicked.

The clerk looked shocked, then turned to her computer and began filing the report. “We’ll begin looking into this as soon as possible. We’d like you to stay behind for questioning, and you may have to speak if this goes to trial.” She eyed Lexi again. “Shouldn’t you be in school?”

She decided to tell the truth. “I skipped today. I usually don’t, but I really needed to talk to Jonah’s dad. I was, you know, worried about him.”

The clerk nodded. “Just make sure you get to school after this, alright?”

“Are you going to call for questioning me?”

“Yes. If you could write your phone number here,” she slid a clipboard toward Lexi, “and the phone number of your parent or guardian. My name is Rosalie, and I’ll be calling you in a couple days.” Lexi smiled at her, and wrote down her phone number and her mom’s number.

Just after she wrote it, her phone chimed with a new text. 

Unknown, 10:45 A.M.  
[ Thanks. You’ve got it now. ] 

She smiled at her phone, then thanked Rosalie. Heading to her car, she called Ashton while climbing in.

It took a couple rings, but he answered the phone.

“Hey, Lexi.”

“Ashton.” Lexi started her car.

“What is it? You know, school is in session.”

Lexi tucked her phone in the crook of her neck so she could drive and talk at the same time. “We need to talk. All of this stuff is really stupid, okay?”

“About fucking time. Meet at my house after school,” Ashton said, and then hung up.

Lexi dropped her phone, letting it fall to the floor of her car. Instead of going to school, she decided to simply go home and catch up on the sleep she hadn’t gotten in the past few “days”. 

She picked up her phone after parking in her driveway, and practically ran up her stairs to crash on her bed. Lexi was out like a light in seconds.

She was rudely awoken by her phone going crazy next to her. Lexi fumbled to answer it, and spoke groggily. “Hello?”

“We still meeting?” It was Ashton. 

Lexi rubbed her eyes. “Yeah.” She checked the time--it was already 3:55 P.M.. “I’ll be there in, like, two minutes.”

“Cool.” He hung up.

Lexi got up and went into the bathroom. Before even looking at herself, she splashed water on her face and carded her hands through her blond hair, fingers getting snagged in the matts. 

Looking in the mirror, her green eyes were clear, just as her skin was--something she had been blessed with recently. She had slight dark circles, but it was nothing some sleep wouldn’t fix. 

She raked a brush through her hair and ran into her room to change her shirt--out of her normal hoodie and jeans and into shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt. Lexi pulled on her shoes and ran out the door.

It was at that moment that she really appreciated the warmth of the sunlight outside. The neighborhood was bright, colourful in a way Lexi hadn’t noticed before, with rows and rows of what seemed to be endless houses.

In no time, she arrived at Ashton’s house next door. She braced herself, then walked up to the door and held up a hand to knock, but before she could the door opened.

Ashton was a sandy-brown haired boy of taller than average stature. He was slightly muscled, but had a gentle posture about him that Lexi knew was good for playing guitar. 

“Hey, Ashton.” The sight of him made Lexi more nervous than she had been in weeks. 

“Hey, Lex. Come in.” He walked away from the doorway into his house, sitting down on the couch. 

The whole house was familiar and homely to Lexi, almost as much as her own house. Pictures of the two and Ashton’s grandparents lined the walls, and the house had a certain smell, like orchids or cooking pasta.

She entered and closed the door behind her, prepared to confront Ashton. Some part of her wanted to hold back, but another wanted to yell and scream--so Lexi chose to be civilised instead.   
She stood in front of him. “Ashton… Where have you been?”

He looked at her, a bit confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, like… You didn’t talk to me.” Lexi tried not to let her hurt show on her face, but she wasn’t good at hiding things from Ashton.

“You could have picked up the phone, too, you know.” He spoke defensively--something Lexi should have expected.

Lexi was about to apologize, then huffed in annoyance. “You know what, maybe I could have, but--” Lexi was tearing up and needed to pause. “You didn’t have to leave me alone, Ashton.”

Worry crossed his features, and he stood up. “Why didn’t you say something?” Something came into Ashton’s mind, and his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “I just don’t understand why you never say anything. You always just let things happen to y--”

Lexi cut him off. “Not anymore. I promise, that won’t happen anymore. I just… I miss you, Ashton. I miss the band. Even if we do or don’t play for Plastiques--which I think we should, okay--I still wanna play-”

Suddenly, Ashton engulfed her in a big bear hug. 

“Welcome back, Lex.”


End file.
